The title refers to an awesome Belle & Sebastian song. I'm not being emo, haha.
I'm up, 5AM.
I lost my job.
A lot of shit went down this week.
I had to throw away a lot of my possessions.
I'm broke.
I realized I have some awesome friends.
I realized that certain people are toxic for me right now.
I'm sober, and committed to sobriety for at least a month. I'm already noticing an improvement. My interest is peaked in a variety of topics, I'm more social (this one surprised me), I want to read, write, and be more creative.
I realized that I think I probably have a lot of issues. I am looking to religion since I can't afford counseling, and it makes me happy.
I prayed today to the sound of church bells and read a passage from the Bible about possessions not mattering as I threw away about 30 garbage bags of stuff and almost all my furniture and I prayed and asked for help and then I felt like I should turn on the radio, and I did, didn't even change the station, and "You Look Wonderful Tonight" was followed by "Layla" (both songs inspired by my idol Patti Boyd). I had the biggest smile on my face. Then I put on Molly & Ashley's Mix CDs and got more of a laugh.
I decided to become sober because I think I've only changed for the worst for the most part since high school, and I'm unhappy with myself. I need a change, some guidance. Reading old LiveJournal post led me to this discovery.
I'm working through it. I'm going to fix myself up. I need to.
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