Change

You know, I always just assumed that I must have changed a lot since high school. I look at everybody else, and most of them are sooo different, even if it is just physically different. I see people I wouldn't touch for anything in high school have become almost unfairly desirable, and of course people who were hot as hell back then now have like three beer guts and a bad haircut. But what has really changed about me? I mean, I am totally different from when I was 14 or 15, but I was also totally different from that point when I was 16 or 17. So the time I am comparing is 16 and 17 to 20. I have lost some weight, I suppose, or perhaps it just fits a little better on me now. My butt is a bit rounder. I sometimes wear contacts instead of glasses or being blind most of the time, as I did then. Oh! And now I understand how people like George Clooney are sexy. And why guys with money are attractive.
Other than that, I'm not very different. I'm a bit more mature, of course, but only because I have more responsibilities. If I had the same responsibilities and bills then, I would probably fulfill/not fulfill them in the same manner.
The scenery has obviously changed some, and I've adjusted slightly to the change of scenery, but I would have done the same when I was 16 or 17.
Oh! I used to get naked way more back then, in front of other people. And do kinkier things. I was definitely much more of an exhibitionist, and much more fearless and energetic.
Damn, I was hoping this entry would lead to me feeling like I've changed and become a better person, but instead I feel like the opposite is true. I feel like I've grown in the way that I understand more the evils of the world and the fact that sometimes one has to be evil and heartless, as someone I suppose I used to know is so fond of attributing that adjective to me, to get anything done.
I used to write back then, too. Much more than now. And I had dreams and real, solid goals that I just "knew" I would achieve.
I've done nothing but become a less interesting and crueler version of myself, and those dreams have been screwed up by, usually, my own hand, time and time again. I suppose I am different in the sense that I don't run to my room and slam the door and scream "leave me alone mom!" like I did when I was a teen, but I feel like that is due to the change of scenery, not necessarily any significant maturation.

How different, in any/every way, would you say you are to the person you were 3 or 4 years ago?